Walking Through the Weather: From Seoul to the Soul
Dear Human is a Verb Community,
On a day like today in Hull, MA, where the streets are cleared but ice and snow still cling to the sidewalks, the frigid air transports me back to 2005.
I am back in South Korea, wearing a long wool coat that reaches down to my ankles to battle the bitter cold. I can feel the rhythm of that journey: catching a taxi, taking a train, and finally walking down an ancient alleyway toward Seoul’s version of row homes but with a traditional brick tile roof in Seoul. That is where I met Sr. Norie.
Sr. Norie was (and is) a Maryknoll Sister, an order of missionaries known for venturing into rugged landscapes and living in solidarity with the people. I’ve always loved the irony that their order was originally inspired by a Protestant missionary, yet there I was—a Protestant “missionary” myself—coming to a Catholic Sister for spiritual direction. Although I assure you, I was not living a rugged life!
But talk about grace upon grace. My experience in spiritual direction was a lifeline.
I walked through the weather monthly to see her through the biting cold of winter and the sweltering humidity of summer (and I walked way more often then than I do now—a hint to my health!). But as I navigated those physical elements to get to that brick-tiled house, I began to wonder if someday God might open the way for me to sit in her seat.
I wondered if I might one day sit with the weather others are “weathering,” to do for them what she did for me.
Opening My Doors
I am writing this to say that I am now sitting in that seat.
Drawing on the contemplative traditions, my background in conflict transformation and Nonviolent Communication, and a deep trust in the “Still Waters” where God restores us, I now offer Spiritual Direction. I view this as my “tent-making,” one of the ways to support my life while accompanying those navigating the wild lands of leadership and life in all kinds of weather.
Navigating the Weather of “Not Enough”
Why do we need a Director? Because the interior life has a climate or climates of its own.
In her book The Wild Land Within, Lisa Colón DeLay invites us to view our struggles not as failures of character, but as “weather fronts” passing through. She writes, “We aren’t the weather, and we don’t own the weather”. I LOVE THAT! I need to remember this! I’m so not a cold-weather person….but that is it…I’m not the cold weather; I experience it and can choose how to be hospitable or inhospitable to it (and for me, that is mostly the latter).
One specific storm system, Colón DeLay describes, and one I know intimately, is avarice. I know, avar-what? It is often interpreted as greed, but DeLay explains it is actually a “scarcity mentality” rooted in deep anxiety about safety. Oh, my goodness, when I read this, I felt seen! It is that biting wind that whispers, “Will I be able to get by?” and “Who will take care of me when I get old?” Have you ever asked those questions? I have especially when I’m living as if I’m the cold weather.
As I launch this new practice of spiritual direction, feeling the vulnerability of a new venture, I have felt the cold wind of scarcity at my neck. A long winter coat is not enough to keep that weather from blowing through me! To help me “shelter in place” and remember that this fear is just passing weather, I prompted a song. And I woke up this morning singing it without even realizing that I was humming my own A.I. music.
I wanted to share a few of the lyrics with you today. If you are feeling the chill of “not enough,” may this remind you that the storm does not define you- today or ever. We can help each other remember that!
Enough
The wind feels cold upon my skin The worry starts to rise again Will I be safe, will I get through I’m always chasing what I’ll lose...
It’s not just money, not just fear It’s that old voice I always hear Asking questions in the night Will I be okay, will I survive Who will hold me when I’m old Is God’s own hand still warm, not cold...
This fear of “not enough” speaks fast. It pulls me toward the future, past. It says there won’t be room or bread. That I should hold on tight instead...
So I will open up my hands. Even when I’m scared to stand. I’ll give a little, trust a bit. And loosen up my tightest grip.
I’ll question what my worry says. And choose a softer, slower way. I’ll plant a seed and let it grow. Trust the rain and trust the sun...
You are the God who stays with me. You are the One who always sees. You are my shelter in the storm. My daily bread, my steady ground.
You are not shaken. Your love is wide. Your mercy sure. The winds may rise. The sky may fall. But You are enough. You are enough.
An Invitation
If you or someone you know is looking for a companion to help witness your own inner weather without getting swept away by it, I would love to talk to you. I’ve set up “inquiry Zoom” appointments. They are totally free, and we can chat about what Spiritual Direction could look like for you. And if you are reading this and know of people, I would love recommendations! This new venture is certainly guided by God’s spirit, and I believe God uses people to do the Spirit’s work! : )
Whether you are in the center of the Christian tradition or out on the edge where the language of God feels foreign, you are welcome here. Spiritual direction is a place to encounter the part of you that is searching for meaning, purpose, and a sense of connectedness to self, others, creation, and the Awe of life.
May your Soul rest inside the part of you that whispers there is enough, you are enough, and I’m enough for you.
Julene